


Will You Love Me When...

by ArwenLalaith



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28115664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLalaith/pseuds/ArwenLalaith
Summary: You’re married to Alex and the two of you are expecting your first child together.A response to the tumblr ask: alex blake/reader thing i headcanon alex as being such a gentle partner like she’d be the one that kisses your cheeks and just makes you all blushy and soft inside
Relationships: Alex Blake (Criminal Minds)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Will You Love Me When...

As you finished heaving your stomach contents into the toilet, a presence loomed in the doorway to the bathroom as your wife joined you. You would’ve said something to greet her, but you weren’t entirely certain that if you opened your mouth, it would be words that came spewing forth. As it was, you kept your head leaned against the wall, eyes falling shut as you breathed shakily through your nose to quell your churning stomach.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked quietly, settling on the bathroom floor next to you. She found your hand and squeezed it gently so that you’d know she was there.

“No...” you whimpered pitifully, leaning your head on her shoulder without ever opening your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” she murmured, rubbing your back with soothing strokes of her hand along the ridges of your spine. “Is there anything I can do?”

You shook your head, immediately regretting the action as it sent your stomach roiling once again. You leaned back over the toilet as you started retching again.

Alex moved to hold your hair back, her fingers working the strands into a plait down your back – you’d always found it incredibly soothing to have your hair played with and you appreciated the gesture, even in that moment. She hummed a soft note of sympathy as a sob burst forth from your lips in spite of your best attempts to control your emotions, even if you couldn’t control your stomach.

“This _sucks_ ,” you lamented once you felt well enough to sit up again. “I’ve never felt so sick in my life...” You swept your bangs off your forehead from where they clung to the cold sweat that beaded along your brow. Your skin was clammy to the touch and undoubtedly had a sickly green tinge to it.

“I know,” she said, pulling you into her lap and wrapping you in a tender embrace. “It won’t be for much longer, though. Just a few more weeks at most.”

You sighed, letting all the tension bleed out of you, going limp like a ragdoll in her arms. “Promise?”

She smiled softly, one hand coming to rest on your stomach, thumb sweeping back and forth across your belly. “I promise,” she vowed. “And it’s all going to be so worth it in the end.”

You knew she was right, but it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel just then, when you’d spent the last six weeks puking your guts out on a daily basis. It’s not that you were ungrateful or even unhappy over your circumstances...you knew how lucky you were that the IUI had taken on the first try – or even at all – but morning sickness was getting really fucking annoying all the same, no matter how hard you tried to look at it from a positive angle.

Her voice gentle, she suggested, “Why don’t you take a bath? It should help you relax and then maybe you can rest a little – you barely slept at all last night.”

“Only if you’ll join me,” you insisted. At her raised brow, you held up your hands in self-defence. “Purely an innocent request, I promise.”

She just laughed, shaking her head softly. “You’re rarely innocent, Y/N...” she teased.

* * *

You still found it hard to believe sometimes, that someone as incredible as Alex would want to be with you... You weren’t certain it would ever really sink in, considering the fact that a ring on your finger and a baby on the way still didn’t make it any less unbelievable.

Alex was intelligent and beautiful and kind and you often felt underwhelming by comparison. But whenever you voiced these doubts, she made absolutely certain that you knew the depth to which she loved you.

Pregnancy, however, had increased your self-doubt tenfold. Between your growing body, your hormones, and the exhaustion, you found yourself entertaining doubts like never before – namely, that Alex would somehow find you repellent now and leave. (Logically, you knew that would never in a million years be the case, but knowing it and believing it were two very different things.)

“Will you still love me when I’m all fat and bloated and my feet and ankles are all swollen?” you asked, “When I waddle when I walk and can’t even see my feet? When I’m the size of a whale?”

You were cuddled into her, your back against her chest, as the warm bath water lapped at your body. The soft fizzling sound of the bubble bath underlined the gentle lilting tones of your voice and all around you soft candlelight flickered in the otherwise dark bathroom.

She laced her fingers with yours where your arms rested on the ledges of the tub, squeezing your hand gently. “I’d love you even more because I get to watch you grow and change to provide a safe home for our developing baby,” she said. “I’ll tie your shoes for you and pick up everything you drop and massage your feet when they get sore. I’ll tell you every single day how beautiful you are, even if you never quite believe me.”

“Will you love me even when I’m hormonal and cranky and get angry with you over stupid shit?” you asked. “When I burst into tears over commercials and become completely inconsolable over nothing at all? When I yell obscenities at you during labour?”

She laughed softly. “I’ll love you even more because nothing worth having is ever easy,” she assured. “I’ll be calm in the face of your temper and a never ending source of comfort when you cry. And I promise not to take anything you say during a contraction to heart.”

You were trying not to give in to the smile threatening to break out across your lips, even if she couldn’t see it. “Will you love me even when we’re both exhausted and haven’t slept in weeks? When diapers need to be changed and laundry needs to be done and we can’t agree over who should do it? When it feels like we hate each other because we’re both tired and cranky and we never get a moment alone?”

“I’ll love you even more because I know it won’t be like that for long and we can get through anything together,” she murmured, lips against your neck, punctuating the statement with soft kisses. “I’ll love you because there is nothing that could ever make me stop loving you.”

You sniffled softly, trying not to let your tears spill over, not wanting her to mistake your sobs for anything other than what they were: a mark of just how completely and truly _loved_ you felt in that moment.

“Y/N, are you crying?” Alex asked, a note of worry in her voice.

“My eyes are just watering,” you lied. “I just... I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have you love me like that.” You shook your head slightly, almost incredulous.

She clicked her tongue almost scoldingly. “It’s not luck,” she insisted. “You’re an incredible woman and you deserve every bit of that love. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

You turned your head to steal a kiss, unable to keep from smiling against her lips. Settling back against her chest, you sighed contentedly as her hands once again found your belly, her palms warm against the slight swell.

“Boy or girl?” you asked her, curious.

Quietly, she admitted, “I think it would be hard to have a son and be reminded of Ethan everyday. But I’m so lucky to have the chance to be a mother again that I really can’t bring myself to care either way, so long as it’s healthy.”

Nodding, you silently agreed. “You’ll be a great mother,” you assured her. “And kid would be lucky to have you.”

“You’re just biased,” she teased.

“Perhaps,” you admitted. “But I stand by my assessment.”

She hummed softly, resting her chin on your shoulder. “I love you, Y/N. I hope you know that.”

“I know,” you confirmed, if only because she never let an opportunity to tell you so pass by unheeded. “Almost as much as I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Send me ALL the Alex/Reader prompts!


End file.
